New York or San Fran?

New York, New York… My Way… It Was A Very Good Year… If I Go Away… All of Nothing At All

Frank Sinatra's song titles seem to describe my life at the moment. I am getting My Way in having a good chance for a transfer to New York, New York. So far, this Was A Very Good Year, especially as it relates to my job and the potential transfer. But what happens If I Go Away?

I've actually started to really enjoy my life in California – a fairly new development after the last few years' surprises, disappointments, and struggles in just about every perceivable area of my life – health, career, personal relationships… I'm at my 2 year mark from my health diagnosis (tomorrow, actually) and only 2 months ago, received my "All's Clear" from the doctors. My career is going well, a new job and 2 promotions later, and I'm finally at a point where I've [mostly] let go of the after-effects of a bad relationship. I guess I'm lucky in that I did get past it, and understand it was NOT a good thing. Won't be going there again, ever!

So this year has been all new for me. I recently moved after my then-roommate decided to impose ridiculous rules for the house (no phone calls after 7pm!) and absolutely LOVE my new place. It's spacious, not too expensive, and in a really great location. And I live alone for the first time in 5 years. God, it's glorious!

I've been on a mission to live in NYC or abroad for a while, and now that I finally have the opportunity, I'm a bit nervous about whether I actually should leave. I'm excited, though sometimes I'm not sure if that's because I have what I want, or because I've "won" in getting what I (thought?) I wanted. I'm a competitive person. I don't know which one it is…

And how do I decide? It's not like I'm trying to choose between places that are near each other and I could visit quite a lot. I'm picking between either end of the country. It's likely I'll have the chance to be back on the West coast two or three times a year and I love to travel (+), but I'm giving up fabulous winter weather (-), fabulous skiing close by, (-) and the laid back attitude (-) that comes to everyone that lives out here.

I would get to keep my laid back work wardrobe (+) since the office in NYC is only 3 people large, including myself. I like dressing up, but I definitely appreciate knowing I can wander into the office in jeans when I just don't feel like putting myself together in the morning. I'd be closer to my family (+), able to travel to Europe more easily (+), and get to live in Manhattan (+). Plus, the people in California aren't straight with you like in NYC. (+,-) East coast "attitude" is that bluntness that I've really worked hard to reign in since living on the West coast.

So it's not really All Or Nothing At All. There are benefits to living in both places, though I can see that I'll end up going either because I've "won" this or because I really want to go. Either way, it'll work out. I don't have the "it's not right" feeling, which I had last time I was offered a position back East. Not to say I have the "it is right" feeling either. I guess we'll see. My time to make my decision is fast closing… I have some wiggle room, though, I do NOT want to move out there just in time for the crappy cold winter. I'll need some summer to get used to it. Waiting until the end of the year probably won't happen… My parents will be pleased.