I never know how to start writing… Everyone always says the first sentence is the hardest, and it seems today to be absolutely true. I have this spool of thoughts in my head at the moment, and I just can’t seem to find the end to unravel it.
A good friend of mine has always accused me of being insensitive, and though I would never call myself that, I can see how I might come off as such at certain times. That said, I don’t think I’m particularly emotional, though I think you only come across emotions as they’re evoked within you. Emotions aren’t something you understand until you feel them. I’m not sure why over the last 5 or 6 years I seem to recognize the abnormality and peculiarity of new emotions when I do feel them, but it does seem to happen. More than 5 or 6 years ago, I don’t recall feeling something and stopping – dead stop in my emotional tracks – to think I could feel *this* and never before have come across it! It’s a strange combination of curiosity and amazement… and then excitement or tension, exhilaration or unrest… It’s bizarre to realize you feel more than you think you could.
I had this happen today. I was with someone I trust and still felt it was so foreign I couldn’t even discuss it, even if I almost needed someone to steady me at that moment. It was not a good moment, and I can’t say I’ve ever hurt so much for someone else’s pain.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment