I wrote an email yesterday that happened to include the word “specifically.” When MS Word underlined the word in red (noting its incorrect spelling), I looked at the word I had written – "specificly" – and could not, for the life of me, figure out what was wrong with it, though it did look clearly wrong. I’m disappointed in myself. Appalled, really. I’m a good speller! How could I make this silly of a mistake?! Either I was half asleep when typing, or I really need to go back to school and get my brain working again.
Maybe I should go back to teaching... !
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
No More Dreams!
Its a rare occasion that I remember my dreams, until the last few months anyhow. I had a run of dreams over the last month, but they seem to have ended - thank God! All the dreams I've remembered have ranged from awful to horrifying to seriously painful, without a single good one in the bunch! I'm really glad that they've gone away. I prefer no dreams to bad ones.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
A crazy year. Much learned:
:: I started with a trip to NYC with my best friend, at which point I decided I would absolutely "someday" live in the city. Now I do. // I learned to act upon my desires.
:: I'm healthy. // I learned I’m a strong person.
:: I went to Barcelona and Italy for a bit of work, a bit of play. // I learned that I could go through the Vatican 100 times over and still not see everything. // I learned to shut my eyes and trust traffic would stop when crossing streets. // I learned that my Spanish sounds like Portuguese. // I learned the Spanish word for "raincoat" (gabardena).
:: I went to my sister's wedding as her maid of honor. // I learned I should prep for MOH speeches ahead of time. // I learned a stash upstairs usually works just fine. :)
:: I moved into my own apartment after my roommate decided to implement "no talking" rules after 7pm. // I learned that roommates are not always the best plan.
:: My parents came to visit with my niece for a week. // I learned that a 5 year old has infinite amounts of energy when you want them to sit still, and none when you need them to be on the move.
:: I made a big job decision; stayed with my company and asked for a move to NYC. // I learned to weigh my options carefully and that sometimes the best option is NOT to move on, but just to move away.
:: I went to the UK for a college roommate's wedding. // I learned that I'll always be a klutz, and to be careful of drains when wearing heels. // I learned to clarify work expectations before heading to different time zones. // I learned that age can be irrelevant.
:: I took a tour of the country (primarily for work) and moved to NYC. // I learned that I should think hard before making another big move. Its not easy, financially, emotionally, or organizationally!
:: I ignored my gut, and realized in the end my gut was right on. // I learned not to settle for “almost good enough”. // I learned to trust my instincts.
:: I sublet an apartment for a few months while finding a place of my own in NYC. // I learned to take pictures of the way you find a place, or you could end up arguing for your deposit.
:: I moved in with 2 roommates in the city, which has been an extremely trying experience (only with one roommate). // I am re-learning that roommates are not always the best plan. (Maybe I'll get it one of these days)
:: My best friend came to visit and introduced me to a boy. // I learned I love that my best friend knows not only what I like, but what is good for me too.
:: I flew to St. Louis for a first date. // I learned sometimes you just have to be a little crazy and go for it. // I learned that there are people in the US that believe humping speakers equates to dancing. // I learned long distances make the conversations interesting.
:: I won a bet for a balloon ride. // Someone still owes me that!
:: I went on a 2nd date in California, a 4th in Vermont, and a 6th in Albuquerque. // I learned I can miss a person a lot when it just feels right to be around them. // I learned that Alpine Slides are waaay fun. // I learned how romantic hot air balloons and starry nights can be with the right person.
:: I asked for what was mine. // I learned that I shake ridiculous amounts when I’m really nervous. // I learned that my Dad can hear nerves in my voice. // I learned it feels good to stand up for yourself, even when its hard to do.
:: I introduce a guy to my parents and meet his family as well. // I learned I find this a bit nerve-wracking when you like the guy, and especially when its not on neutral turf.
:: My sister grew up. // I learned my sister learns things the hard way. // I learned I can feel fiercely protective of her, but need to let her figure herself out.
:: I came in 1st in my division and 3rd after the playoffs in my fantasy football league. // I learned that I love to win, even when its virtual games. // I learned to be a great delegator, but to trust my own calls as well.
:: I ended the year in the Bahamas by the water with the boy, random strangers, fireworks, champagne, and big grin. // I learned I can be braggy (something to work on). // I learned its hard to stay frustrated with someone when you care. // I learned there are girls that think I’m cute enough to kiss.
:: I'm healthy. // I learned I’m a strong person.
:: I went to Barcelona and Italy for a bit of work, a bit of play. // I learned that I could go through the Vatican 100 times over and still not see everything. // I learned to shut my eyes and trust traffic would stop when crossing streets. // I learned that my Spanish sounds like Portuguese. // I learned the Spanish word for "raincoat" (gabardena).
:: I went to my sister's wedding as her maid of honor. // I learned I should prep for MOH speeches ahead of time. // I learned a stash upstairs usually works just fine. :)
:: I moved into my own apartment after my roommate decided to implement "no talking" rules after 7pm. // I learned that roommates are not always the best plan.
:: My parents came to visit with my niece for a week. // I learned that a 5 year old has infinite amounts of energy when you want them to sit still, and none when you need them to be on the move.
:: I made a big job decision; stayed with my company and asked for a move to NYC. // I learned to weigh my options carefully and that sometimes the best option is NOT to move on, but just to move away.
:: I went to the UK for a college roommate's wedding. // I learned that I'll always be a klutz, and to be careful of drains when wearing heels. // I learned to clarify work expectations before heading to different time zones. // I learned that age can be irrelevant.
:: I took a tour of the country (primarily for work) and moved to NYC. // I learned that I should think hard before making another big move. Its not easy, financially, emotionally, or organizationally!
:: I ignored my gut, and realized in the end my gut was right on. // I learned not to settle for “almost good enough”. // I learned to trust my instincts.
:: I sublet an apartment for a few months while finding a place of my own in NYC. // I learned to take pictures of the way you find a place, or you could end up arguing for your deposit.
:: I moved in with 2 roommates in the city, which has been an extremely trying experience (only with one roommate). // I am re-learning that roommates are not always the best plan. (Maybe I'll get it one of these days)
:: My best friend came to visit and introduced me to a boy. // I learned I love that my best friend knows not only what I like, but what is good for me too.
:: I flew to St. Louis for a first date. // I learned sometimes you just have to be a little crazy and go for it. // I learned that there are people in the US that believe humping speakers equates to dancing. // I learned long distances make the conversations interesting.
:: I won a bet for a balloon ride. // Someone still owes me that!
:: I went on a 2nd date in California, a 4th in Vermont, and a 6th in Albuquerque. // I learned I can miss a person a lot when it just feels right to be around them. // I learned that Alpine Slides are waaay fun. // I learned how romantic hot air balloons and starry nights can be with the right person.
:: I asked for what was mine. // I learned that I shake ridiculous amounts when I’m really nervous. // I learned that my Dad can hear nerves in my voice. // I learned it feels good to stand up for yourself, even when its hard to do.
:: I introduce a guy to my parents and meet his family as well. // I learned I find this a bit nerve-wracking when you like the guy, and especially when its not on neutral turf.
:: My sister grew up. // I learned my sister learns things the hard way. // I learned I can feel fiercely protective of her, but need to let her figure herself out.
:: I came in 1st in my division and 3rd after the playoffs in my fantasy football league. // I learned that I love to win, even when its virtual games. // I learned to be a great delegator, but to trust my own calls as well.
:: I ended the year in the Bahamas by the water with the boy, random strangers, fireworks, champagne, and big grin. // I learned I can be braggy (something to work on). // I learned its hard to stay frustrated with someone when you care. // I learned there are girls that think I’m cute enough to kiss.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
New Years Resolution Implementation: i.e, I went to the Bahamas
I have officially implemented the New Year’s Resolution I spoke about previously and took about 2 weeks off work over the holidays. In reality, I took off only 8 work days b/c of the two holidays, and ended up working on Christmas day. Yes, I realize working on Christmas is not a great start to keeping my New Year’s Resolution, but it was NOT officially New Year’s, so I refuse to admit defeat yet…I spent a week down with my family, and am only realizing now that I didn’t get a single picture in while I was there. My sister, with her new job as a Front Royal police officer, was working the entire week, so it was just my parents and my niece, roaming around the house and off seeing friends. In general, it was a good week, though I could VERY easily argue that time spent with my family can not actually be considered relaxing. My dad in fact, gave me a set of napkins for Christmas stating: “I’m visiting family for Christmas, by New Years I’ll be in therapy”. I think my Dad gets it… :)
The Boy came down towards the end of the week to meet Momma and my niece, although introducing a guy I like to my parents can only be considering a nerve-wracking and nail-biting experience. Fortunately it was only for 2 days before we headed out to the Bahamas for some definite relaxing. I had an absolute blast, didn’t work a single day this past week (um, today, the Saturday after my return, cannot be counted against my resolution. I’m catching up so next week I can continue on my path to work-life balance enlightenment!)
We had 2 days of 80+ degree weather in Freeport, on Grand Bahama Island – and then back to “normal” weather there – in the 50s and 60s. Still a far cry from the 20s and 30s of NYC. 
I had tons of time for kayaking – I do NOT recommend sitting in the front of a 2 person kayak as you are highly likely to get whacked in the head by your rear companion, getting soaked by them, ducking trees, and having to understand their “instructions” on steering, (“Steer right”, “STOP”, “Why aren’t you paddling”, “Don’t steer like that” being common phrases you’ll hear throughout the ride). I loved every minute of it; goofing off, running into trees, and all...
For riding a 2-person scooter around town – I do recommend requesting your partner’s scooter-driving experience first, and ensuring that they can successfully perform the following items:- Stay on the road
- Stay on the correct side of the road
- Drive straight without wobbling
- Turn without wobbling WHILE staying on the road
- Stay on the correct side of the road
- Drive straight without wobbling
- Turn without wobbling WHILE staying on the road
It was hilarious. I absolutely recommend looking silly in the ridiculous helmets and scootering around an island.
For horseback riding – I recommend riding the horse that does not annoy all the other horses and cause them to attempt biting your horse and avoiding your horse at any cost. This makes for bad pictures.... Or as bad as a picture can get when you have horses on a sandy beach in front of clear aqua waters. Which clearly isn't that bad. :)For hikes to see caves and raccoons!
Let’s hope these 2 weeks have refreshed me enough to keep me from stressing out over work, etc. at least through January… The Dodgeball team I have joined should assist me in releasing any anger or stress – I pity our opponents!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
My Choose Your Own Adventure Book
A friend of mine is getting married and going through a “which life do I want” dilemma that’s making me think about what I want in 5 or 10 years. I know not all of my hang ups are either-ors (there are instances where both can happen), but I feel like I should know by now what I want in life. I don’t think that’s the case for me at the moment.
At 12, (6th grade), we all had to write down what we wanted to be and what we wanted with our lives in 10 years. My 12 year old idea of where I’d be today was very defined. Where I actually am from where I thought I’d be so completely different, its unbelievable. At least I kinda had a plan, though…. right?
I was going to be a doctor (probably would still be in school).
I was going to have kids (who knows… They don’t fit in my life at the moment).
I was going to be married (the idea of forever requires a patience I don’t know that I have).
I wasn’t going to live in NYC (school, kids, and a husband would not have allowed it).
I was going to travel the world (this, at least, I’m doing somewhat inline with my 12-year-old idea).
My parents would be retired (my Dad can’t seem to figure that one out).
My best friend would live much closer (damn it, Amy!)
I’d never even think about teaching (today it sounds so relaxing…. And I did love doing it).
At 28, if I think ahead 16 years ahead (44, for you math majors), I seem to come across this black hole of ideas. A million plans in a million directions and nothing certain or concrete. Maybe its a lack of focus. I’d rather call it open-mindedness. Or insatiable curiosity. Not that this by any name is anything out of the ordinary… How many college majors and states did I run through before landing where I’m at?! It’s a bit disturbing in an oddly satisfying way.
There are a few options that seem to be seriously viable possibilities, and I know the decisions I make today will place me into one of these lives. Likely without allowing me the chance to consciously decide which I really want. Does anyone really end up consciously deciding where they land anyhow? I need to be able to read ahead in my Choose Your Own Adventure book and see which life works out the best so I can make my decisions accordingly. If anyone comes across the book about me, send it my way.
At 12, (6th grade), we all had to write down what we wanted to be and what we wanted with our lives in 10 years. My 12 year old idea of where I’d be today was very defined. Where I actually am from where I thought I’d be so completely different, its unbelievable. At least I kinda had a plan, though…. right?
I was going to be a doctor (probably would still be in school).
I was going to have kids (who knows… They don’t fit in my life at the moment).
I was going to be married (the idea of forever requires a patience I don’t know that I have).
I wasn’t going to live in NYC (school, kids, and a husband would not have allowed it).
I was going to travel the world (this, at least, I’m doing somewhat inline with my 12-year-old idea).
My parents would be retired (my Dad can’t seem to figure that one out).
My best friend would live much closer (damn it, Amy!)
I’d never even think about teaching (today it sounds so relaxing…. And I did love doing it).
At 28, if I think ahead 16 years ahead (44, for you math majors), I seem to come across this black hole of ideas. A million plans in a million directions and nothing certain or concrete. Maybe its a lack of focus. I’d rather call it open-mindedness. Or insatiable curiosity. Not that this by any name is anything out of the ordinary… How many college majors and states did I run through before landing where I’m at?! It’s a bit disturbing in an oddly satisfying way.
There are a few options that seem to be seriously viable possibilities, and I know the decisions I make today will place me into one of these lives. Likely without allowing me the chance to consciously decide which I really want. Does anyone really end up consciously deciding where they land anyhow? I need to be able to read ahead in my Choose Your Own Adventure book and see which life works out the best so I can make my decisions accordingly. If anyone comes across the book about me, send it my way.
Things I've forgotten and Newly Remembered
// I really really really like the sun
// Gray skies were never my thing
// Mailing cards when I have a deadline is hard. When there is no deadline, I mail them often!
// I shake when I get really nervous, even when I shouldn’t be nervous
// Opening the door for people in my California office was always a pain
// I have a Fry’s gift card that I haven’t yet used… and can’t in NY
// I miss having no roommates
// Cooking is usually much tastier than food I order in.
// My head and my heart don’t often agree
// Ashley’s couch really is comfortable
// Gray skies were never my thing
// Mailing cards when I have a deadline is hard. When there is no deadline, I mail them often!
// I shake when I get really nervous, even when I shouldn’t be nervous
// Opening the door for people in my California office was always a pain
// I have a Fry’s gift card that I haven’t yet used… and can’t in NY
// I miss having no roommates
// Cooking is usually much tastier than food I order in.
// My head and my heart don’t often agree
// Ashley’s couch really is comfortable
Friday, November 30, 2007
New Years Resolution....
Some weeks are just hard, and there’s seemingly no way to escape it. Don’t get me wrong; I love my life right now. I really really do – my job, my personal life, my family – all of it. But this week has been enough to make me want to crawl under my desk, curl in a ball, and not come out. One of my favorite colleagues had his last day today, too, which doesn’t help. This has gotten me thinking about what I want my life to be – I hate being this stressed out, and want to enjoy my life, but work hard and be successful too.
**I must interject here. The TV is on, and I just saw someone presenting the most amazing shoe. It has a convertible heel! The heel folds from a high heel down to a low one really easy! Mental note: must figure out where to find these. I so need them!
The good news, despite the stress (that oddly is making my chest bone crack like a back or finger does), is that I know I can get through this. That I’m a strong person and am only learning. I only wish this learning didn’t keep me from the other silly things I’d like to do – start doing some gymnastics again, taking a Spanish class, etc. My new year’s resolution has come out of this, though, and I’m going to separate work and life better. That’s it. Separation. A piece for each side. Ignoring neither.
My issue today is that its not even December, and I’m already thinking that I may have to delay implementation of this resolution until February. *Deep breath* I can start in January and make sure I’m set in February. Right? Right?!
**I must interject here. The TV is on, and I just saw someone presenting the most amazing shoe. It has a convertible heel! The heel folds from a high heel down to a low one really easy! Mental note: must figure out where to find these. I so need them!
The good news, despite the stress (that oddly is making my chest bone crack like a back or finger does), is that I know I can get through this. That I’m a strong person and am only learning. I only wish this learning didn’t keep me from the other silly things I’d like to do – start doing some gymnastics again, taking a Spanish class, etc. My new year’s resolution has come out of this, though, and I’m going to separate work and life better. That’s it. Separation. A piece for each side. Ignoring neither.
My issue today is that its not even December, and I’m already thinking that I may have to delay implementation of this resolution until February. *Deep breath* I can start in January and make sure I’m set in February. Right? Right?!
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